Working Together for Good

“All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose”*, I keep telling myself.

Especially today

In the mail today I received my race confirmation for the Twin Cities marathon.

A race I hoped to run.

But as I carry out my every day life, I know there is no way I could run it.

Every day my tendinitis in my ankle still flares up even though I stopped running to help it heal.

I don’t know what I am doing wrong. Maybe I am pushing it to hard. Why can’t I run???? Why???

Even as I ask those questions I remind myself with promises and answers.

Every day I struggle with a skewed body image and when I ran the Minneapolis Marathon earlier this summer, I trusted in my intense running schedule to keep my body at a fitness level that my brain deemed as “perfect” and “skinny enough”

Please  don’t get me wrong, I love running but I end up idolizing it and trusting it instead of God.

I don’t know exactly why I can’t run right now. I don’t know why that my ankle keeps bothering me, but I know that without running I have to rely on God to take care of my body. I have to trust that God will still love me if my running muscles aren’t as strong as I think they should be.  Without running God is teaching me to trust that He accepts me unconditionally. I don’t have to do anything! There is nothing that I can do that will make him love me cause he already does to the utmost!!!

The problem is that I know these truths in my head but I needed this injury to help me get them cemented in my head.

Will I always remember that God loves me? No!

Will I never idolize my body after my ankle heals? Probably not.

But I know that through this time God is working all thing together for good.

I may not see it fully yet but God will never let me down.

I know He will never leave me nor forsake me.

Thanks for reading

~Jess

*Romans 8:28

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